a bunch of bunk.

Last night, I played bunko for the first time.
The game requires no skill except the slight turn of the wrist required to roll dice. Four people sit at a table, and according to the die's fickle cast, you move tables and change partners, unless you roll 3 sixes, which means jackpot.
I went to meet friends. As a newcomer in this city, I will do almost anything to break up the monotony of my own voice droning on and on (lately in an english accent).
It didn't work. I was concentrating so hard on the dice, that I couldn't even answer simple questions. Everyone else seemed to multitask beautifully, while I had to continuously hold up my finger and say, "please hold on."
The result was a fun game, no friends, and a stomach full of spinach dip.... which brings me to my next point- insecurity.

Change uncovers insecurity. It's always there- like a big macadamia nut in the center of your body. Impregnable and solid. But in easy times it can be covered with various comforts- family, friends, a couch, Oprah. But I'm living in someone else's house, in a brand new city, and unemployed. Here's my macadamia nut, white and bald, for the world to see.

So today I'm going to give my insecurity to God- mostly for selfish reasons, so I can ease the discomfort I find in the near and far corners of my mind. I don't think it will change much, but at least it's no longer my responsibility. In Psalm 32, it says He will surround me with songs of victory, so I'm gonna hold on to that. Even if it's victory over myself.